No, drunk sperm still make babies.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
