wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
