Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
