i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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