Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
