dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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