dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Randomize
