well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Randomize
