I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
