Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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