On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
tell me about the eggs
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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