Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Randomize
