You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
