Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
