she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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