he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
