Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize
