There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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