Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
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