And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
