Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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