I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
