She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
