So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
