we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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