Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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