my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
