their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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