? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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