It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
