i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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