Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
