this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Maybe he injected his testicle?
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
