I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I'm determined to sit on that face.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
