I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
