I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
