I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
