Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
