if you like me you must not know who I am
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Randomize
