A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
