4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Randomize
