She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
He did a backflip because drugs
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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