I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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