My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
