There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
