Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
