i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
