Say something about gay babies.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
why do cheetos always look like penises
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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