You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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