yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
is wine microwaveable?
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
