If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
You made out with two different species that night
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
